One day, when I wasn’t self harming…

…I was browsing Myspace. What I experienced was painful. We’ve all come across the 15-year-old-girl-talk that we all hopefully despise. But there’s a new phenomenon. Adults talking like this. I came across a 21 yr olds space. “I lyk to liv life to the full” I’m sorry b*tch, you like to what? What reading age are you at? “I am fun and like havin a laff” WHAT?! As I write this, my computer is having spasms. Me being the superior author I am, its not used to such…sh*tness.

Unfortunately we’ve all grown to accept young females talking in a form so alien they should be shot, but adults? We have to make a stand. This obviously can’t go on. There are certain circumstances, where writing shorthand is acceptable. If for example you have limited character space. Obviously acceptable. But in a blog? You’ve got all the space in the world to spew your bullsh*t. Furthermore, I wouldn’t even go that far. How ‘bout you shorten every word to NOTHING. Nobody wants to read your sh*tty blogs, about how you went out drinking last night. It was fun was it? When Danny groped you in the bathroom. Ah, that Danny, he’s such a class act. And what about when Steve got so drunk he shouted racist’s comments at that homeless guy. Man, that Steve cracks me up. He can articulate himself so well for a retard. And, ah man, this bit was sooooooooo funnay, you remember when Martin downed all those Barcadis and vomited on that woman! OMG I LARFFED!

If your one of these people, that speak like this, just take a moment to look at yourself. Look real hard. Where’s the character? Where’s the intelligence? What exactly do you see? A Plate? You’re obviously staring into the microwave….again. I dare you to figure out how to stick your head it with it on…